Worst Cook Ever

It's official. I am the worst cook ever. I can't follow a recipe or I just goof it up somehow. I tried to make a potato salad today so that I could take it to a picnic tonight. The potatoes boiled nicely in the salted water. I diced the celery and red onion. Cute little bits. The dressing was a mixture of mayo, avocado, garlic and lime juice plus some lime zest. I grated the lime peel and made the zest and it looked fine. Smelled wonderful! I put all of these ingredients in the blender and then attempted to squeeze the lime to add the juice to the mixture. The juice wouldn't come out of the lime so I cut off all the peel and diced up the lime and threw it in the blender. Whrrrrr.....and done! It smelled good. Very cool and fruity. I put the dressing on the potatoes and mixed well. Taste test. It actually tasted quite..... terrible. The lime taste was overpowering. Oh, what to do! I decided to add some chopped eggs, thinking if I added more stuff, there would be less dressing on everything and maybe it wouldn't taste so bad. Wrong. I didn't have time to prepare anything else so I decided if this salad wasn't going to taste good, make it look good. I'm real good at that (you know, camouflage and all). So, I stuffed baby spinach leaves around the edge of the bowl and sprinkled paprika on the top. Looked pretty. I went to the picnic and casually handed the salad to the hostess and occupied myself, waiting for the appointed dinner hour. I loved everyone else's cooking. That is what I like about pot luck dinners, tasting what other people make. It was all so,so,so delicious. I noticed a few people had taken a spoonful of my salad but I also noticed that it was being scraped to the side of their plates AND, the worst (yes, the worst) happened when the salad was smooshed under the weight of the coveted dessert plate (the finale to a luscious feeding frenzy) with all those delicious goodies piled high on the plate, weighing it down. The sad looking salad was still visible at the edge of the bottom plate. I saw it and silently wept. Not for me, of course, but for the waste of the red potatoes, the green celery and the onion. And what a waste of an avocado. And the limes, too. Individual ingredients that, by themselves, were good but in the hands of "the inept one", combined, were not so good. The spirit of the culinary venture was pure, well intentioned, but lack of skill--oh, who am I kidding! I'm a lousy cook. There, I said it! I've actually been saying it for years but I don't think people believed me. They should. This is why I like restaurants. The food just appears at the table--done. Just like that. I make GREAT smoothies. I make very good salads. I make tasty soups. Everything else.....not so much. Do you know what I'm really good at and I like doing it? Ironing.