The Curve In The Road

I have always been fascinated by winding roads. Even as a child I always wanted to know what was around the corner. I was just curious. I could see what was right in front of me and, I guess, I just wanted to see if what was around the corner was more of the same or was there something new to see. Intriguing. Wanting to see the unseen and having the persistence to do it. I would turn the corner and if I saw another curve in the road ahead I would keep going until I had satisfied my curiosity. When I was a child I walked everywhere. I had to make sure, though, that I only went as far as I could manage, knowing I had to walk that same distance back again. Then came the bike and I could go a much greater distance, going from one suburb to another. When I learned to drive and finally had access to a car I could go a much greater distance and every curve in the road beckoned me to go further. Country roads were the best. Nothing but me, Mother Nature and the road. I am now travelling down another winding road--metaphorically. The road I am travelling down has many curves and lately they seem to be getting closer to each other, making the journey more difficult. And I am not that curious about what is around the corner. Instead, uncertainty has been lurking everywhere. I am talking about the road I am walking down with my father. The road has been very rocky for the last few months. The last few weeks have involved sleepless nights on the couch, listening to him breathe. Agonizing with him when he was uncomfortable. Being at his side when he was afraid to be alone in the hospital. Trying to be cheery even when he wasn't. Taking care of the "details of life". Hearing the words "You're such a good daughter" and questioning if I really deserve those kind words. Feeling sorry for myself and feeling angry that I am feeling that way. This is a road that I chose to walk many years ago when I came to Florida to look after my Dad. I'm glad I made this choice. The curves in the road were gently winding at that time. It's more zigzag these days. I know that I have been gifted with patience and persistence and they are the "vehicle" that are carrying me down this curvy road. And I keep moving forward. This time there is no turning back.